We who live in the modern western world live in a unique time and place where the possibilities for our lives are numerous. More than any other generation, I assume, we find ourselves asking, “What is God’s will for my life?” Google attests! One of the most popular google searches regarding this topic is Jeremiah 29:11, “for I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper…”, which is searched over 12,000 times every month.1“Jeremiah 29 11 Meaning.” 2016. Explaining the Book. Explaining The Book. September 5, 2016. https://explainingthebook.com/2016/09/04/jeremiah-29-11-meaning/#:~:text=And when you’re looking,over 12%2C000 searches every month.
I cannot count how many times I myself have wrestled with the same question. Most of my life has been spent under the plans of my institution. Elementary school, junior high, four years of high school, four of university, four of medical school, and finishing the third year of residency. As I approach the point of finally being pushed out of the nest, this question of God’s will for my life is one with which I regularly struggle.
Usually, pursuing the answer to the question of God’s will for my life puts me in a place of spiritual unrest, discontentment, fear, and distrust. I find myself either overly concerned for God’s will or fixated on my own, only wanting Him to bless me. But what if this process we all go through from time to time could lead us into deeper relationship with Christ? What if we allowed the Holy Spirit such seasons to reveal to us more who God is and who we are? I’ve found Scripture’s guidance and the thoughts of the late theologian and philosopher Dallas Willard to be most helpful on this topic.
Ditch #1: Overly concerned for God’s will.
All of us have a human instinct toward selfishness and self-preservation. But interestingly, we are not satisfied with preservation alone. The ultimate form of preservation is domination. And if we are not dominating in any sort of the word, we at least want to be significant among others.
I’ve realized my desire for significance comes from pride, rather than God’s glory (Matt 5:16). The outward symptoms of unhealthy inward desires are a lack of love, joy, and peace among other fruits of the Spirit. When I’m freaking out about what God wants me to do and lacking trust in Him to guide me, I lack these fruits of the Spirit as well. But, what’s the root of my worry?
Often, I am overly concerned with the will of God because I am overly concerned with maintaining an admirable image. I find myself frustrated with work and short with others. My joy is substituted for worry, my peace for anxiety, and my self-control for careless word jabs. In Hearing God, Dallas Willard seemed to have me in mind somehow when he wrote:
I fear that many people seek to hear God solely as a device for obtaining their own safety, comfort, and sense of being righteous.
Willard, Hearing God (p. 33)
Ditch #2: Fixated on my own will.
While one of my ditches of discernment involves over-concern with God’s will for self-righteous reasons, my second most significant problem, also stemming from pride, involves self-sufficiency. Today I’ll do this, tomorrow I’ll do that. I ignore James’ warning (James 4:13-14), working like a self-sufficient orphan to earn the adoption of His already present Father.
At best, I give him a head nod and ask Him to bless what I set out to do (even Christian things). I have my agenda set, what I think will be best and move forward as if I’m the conductor of this train. It doesn’t take long before the unfruitfulness of my efforts leaves me wondering again, God what am I to do?
God, what is your will?
The Bible is not silent on the specific will of God for our lives. We can briefly look at a few passages that very clearly comment on it:
- For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people (1 Pet 2:15).
- Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thess 5:18).
- For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality… (1 Thess 4:3).
Clearly, we can know God wants us to do good in the midst of being shamed for our belief in Christ, to give thanks in all circumstances, and to flee sexual immorality. But these verses do not clarify for us specific matters as they arise in our lives. In Romans 12:2, Paul encourages us to “discern what is the will of God”. He tells us in Ephesians 5:17 to “understand what the will of the Lord is.” Our immediate response is, “But how?!”
My frustration with this process led me to Proverbs 3:5-6. As I wrestled with the “simplicity” of this passage, I discovered a simple key that unlocks the depth of its wisdom and application.
God wants you to know him.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways יָדַע (yāḏaʿ) him, and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
In ancient Hebrew, the word יָדַע (yāḏa) means to know, perceive or reveal oneself.2Blue Letter Bible: https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h3045/kjv/wlc/0-1/ Hebrew words often had strong associations with actions or physical pictures. For example, the word to worship in Hebrew literally means to prostrate, to bless means to kneel, and thanksgiving refers to the extension of one’s hand.3This insight is from Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline. It is not surprising then that יָדַע (yāḏaʿ) has its own physical image. A brief concordance search clarified the weight of this word:
Now Adam יָדַע (yāḏaʿ) Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain…
Genesis 4:1a ESV
And Elkanah יָדַע (yāḏaʿ) Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son…
1 Sam 1:19-20a ESV
If you weren’t ready for it, this investigation gets you more than what you bargained for. God is audacious. He was audacious enough to empty himself and take on the form of a servant (Phil 2:7), and he is audacious enough to invite sinners into an intimate relationship with him. He is certainly consistent in breaking down human frameworks of what a God should be.
Framing our relationship with God with a comparison to how one relates to their spouse significantly affects how we view prayer and discernment. What (healthy) spouse finds pleasure in a relationship centered around a “honey-do” list? As spouses or even friends grow closer together through conversation and shared time, they begin to know each other on deeper levels. They understand others’ likes and dislikes. They don’t operate on check boxes, but instead, from a place of love and intentionality, act on what they know to be true about the other.
[God] does not delight in having to always explain what his will is; he enjoys it when we understand and act upon his will.
Willard, Hearing God (p. 40)
God desires a conversational relationship and shared time with his children. He wants us to rightly understand his character and the kind of relationship He desires with us. We’re not meant to see him as a drill sergeant, but a Father.
Learning to hear God is much more about becoming comfortable in a continuing conversation, and learning to constantly lean on the goodness and love of God, than it is about turning God into an ATM for advice, or treating the Bible as a crystal ball.
Willard, Hearing God (p. 10)
For Willard, this is one of the biggest issues plaguing the prayer lives of so many. It begins with our misunderstanding of God, what he wants, and our disordered desires for self-righteousness, comfort, safety, or absolution from responsibility for making a decision. “Our failure to hear God has its deepest roots in a failure to understand, accept and grow into a conversational relationship with God” (Hearing God, 35). This emphasis on relationship in prayer also has implications for unanswered prayers when God seems silent on an issue. We are meant to know Him deeply and be known intimately in all that we do. Sometimes perceived silence is an invitation to go deeper.
Relationships are slow. We tend to want an efficient and effective way to know God’s will. Drill sergeants lead efficient teams because they make their command clear and it is followed immediately. But is this the relationship God wants with his children? What if it is initiative & self-discovery, not efficiency, that bring about His desired result? Willard goes on to state that being in God’s will is more about living the kind of life he wants us to live, rather than doing any particular thing.
An obsession merely with doing all God commands may be the very thing that rules out being the kind of person that he calls us to be.
Willard, Hearing God (p. 14)
Hearing a specific command and following it is a strategy with transient results. The command is given, it is obeyed, and the transaction is complete. Being the person God wants you to be in relationship with him has eternal implications and applies to any life-scenario.
In other words
Walking in God’s will for you involves developing a conversational, intimate relationship with him. Attitudes of self-sufficiency can be corrected by allowing the Spirit to help us slow down, lean into the goodness of God, and seek intimacy with him.
Additionally, we need to rethink our motivations for why we want to know his will (and if we truly want to know it!). God will not succumb to making his specific will clear to us to satisfy our desires for self-righteousness, comfort, safety, or image preservation. He loves us too much.
Instead, he wants us to know him, to walk with him, and to lead lives that honor him. When this stays in focus, we may find ourselves discerning his will confidently and calmly, without the usual anxiety or distress.
